How Are You Walking

“Train up a child on the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

My brother and I had been stuck in the house all afternoon due to a typical southern afternoon thunderstorm. We had not been on our best behavior and we were driving our mother crazy, so as soon as the skies cleared up she declared it was time for us all to go out on a family walk around the block. Dad noticed that the Jeffersons had a tree down in their yard, however as we got closer we realized it was more that just a downed tree. The leg of the Jeffersons’ beloved German Shepherd, Shadow, was pinned under the large pine. As dad began to try to free Shadow, my brother ran to get Mr. Jefferson. Soon they were gently putting her in the truck and rushing her to the vet’s office.

“Will she still be able to have her puppies?” I asked my mom.
She replied “I don’t know. I just do not know.”

See Shadow was due to have puppies just any day and we had been promised the first pick of the litter. We waited for what seemed like forever before we got a phone call from Mrs. Jefferson. She let us know that there was good news and bad news. The good news was that they had four new little fur balls to raise, but the bad news was Shadow was in surgery to have her hind leg amputated. Dr. Killen was unable to save both the leg and the puppies. He assured the Jeffersons that the momma dog would be able to teach herself to walk on her three legs. Sure enough in just few weeks after the accident, Shadow was using her front legs to walk and then hop on the one hind leg. She would get a little stronger and walk/hop a little farther each day. After eight weeks, Mrs. Jefferson called to ask if we were ready to pick out our puppy to take home. We made the short walk down to her house and she called the dogs out from the doghouse. Out came Momma with her unique stride and followed closely by her babies. The closer they got to us I notice that the little ones were walking with the walk/hop style just like Shadow.

“Why do they not walk on all four legs like they are suppose to?”
“Well, they walk the way their momma does.”

I was reminded of this story one night recently because in a little more than a month I will do one of the hardest things a parent has to do -- I have to take my daughter two and a half hours away, drop her off at college and drive away without her. As I think about this life transition, I wonder if I have I told her everything she will need to know. Have I told her all the dos and don’ts that will keep her safe? Have I told her enough that I love her? Have I told her how to iron without burning the dorm down? Have I told her this? Have I told her that? I was thinking of all the things I need to tell her when God reminded me that it is not about what I tell her but the way I have walked before her. The one thing I know I have shown her is that God loves us even when we walk on three legs instead of all four.

Tweet

Waiting

I feel that God has me in a season of waiting right now. Waiting on doors to open in my speaking. Waiting on various test results for myself and others. Waiting on answers to questions. Waiting - Waiting - Waiting. So when I heard Nancy Leigh DeMoss read this poem on her Revive Our Hearts show today I knew it was for me and that I needed to share it. I pray it speaks to each of you as much as it did to me.

The Waiting Poem

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said,"Wait."
"Wait? You say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
My future and all to which I relate,
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to Wait?"
I'm needing a 'yes,' a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.
You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting . . . for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me,
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
You'd never experience the fullness of love,
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask,
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.
So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see,
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT".

Tweet

CPM - Continuous Passive Motion

For those of you that read my blog or are my friend on Facebook you know that on September 7, 2010 I had to have a total knee replacement on my left knee. The surgery was needed due to inherited degenerative arthritis and not taking care of it as I should have. The surgery itself was not as painful as I had expected but the recovery has turned out to push my pain tolerance. A major piece of my physical therapy is a machine called a CPM which stands for Continuous Passive Motion. This machine slowly takes the injured leg and moves it to a bend position at a specified angle and then straightens it back to a completely flat position. I am to use the machine always increasing the bent angle every day in order to keep my knee from stiffening and becoming unusable. As I sat this evening with my leg harnessed in the machine, I began to think of how much that CPM machine is like my church family.


Let me explain: Since my surgery I have had to miss several church services and I have truly in my heart missed the fellowship, love and encouragement I receive when I join with my brothers and sisters in God's House. It seems that I need them to be my spiritual Continuous Passive Motion. There are times in my walk with Christ that I become stiff and unwilling to move easily. It is at those times that a dear sweet Christian friend will give a hug, speak a word or smile a certain smile that moves me to that next degree. Google defines Passive Motion as "Movement of a patients joint by a person who is examining or treating the patient." There are those weary tiring time when we just don't see, feel or hear God or His next step for us to take but if we are connected to a CPM type of group then there is some there to "examine and treat you by moving you". I thank God tonight for my dear church family especially my small ladies group that have not only been there physically during this surgery but even more for the fact that they have been my Spiritual CPM machine.

Tweet

Population of one

Over the last few weeks I have spend much of my time preparing for total knee replacement surgery tomorrow. During this prep time I have made sure there was food in the house for the family, paperwork was in order for my co-workers at the office and bills were paid so others wouldn't have to worry with it. But while doing all of this I have to admit that I spent a lot of time thinking...... thinking about myself and how the surgery would effect me alone. As I got into the car the other day with all the "what ifs" on my mind Matthew West's song "My Own Little World" came on the radio and I realized no matter what happens with this surgery there is a larger world out there with the bigger hurt and worry of where they will spend their eternity. THat is now where my mind and heart is focused. I am including Matthew's words for you in hopes that you too will see more that a population of one. (The youtube embedding disabled but I have included the link.)



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvSwcMp9vU4

Tweet

Is this a last-first event ?

“But forget all that- It is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
For I am about to do something new. See I have already begun!
Do you not see?” ISA 43:18-19

Monday Aug 16th was my daughter’s last-first day of high school. Tuesday was her last-first high school volleyball game. Tonight she is attending her last-first high school football game. This is all the beginnings of the end of her life as a high school student.
These times are both exciting and nerve wrecking.
Times of tears for joy and tears of sorrow.
Times to look both forward and backwards.
She will spend this year remembering back on all the good times she has had with friends over the last 11 years. She is also really starting to look forward to the next step in her walk of life.
As I have watched her through this process it made me look at my walk with God differently. Do I look for the next phase that God is bringing me into? Am I excited, a little nervous but excited, to let go of where He has me now in order to move on. My daughter is embracing each day of this senior year for all the last-first things that she gets to do and be a part of. God does not want us us to stand still… to become lukewarm. So He is always doing something new in our lives. He is always preparing us to graduate on to something else but we have to see it. We have to be willing to let go of where we are and step toward where He is taking us. We can embrace all of our last-first moments as long as we also move towards our first-first moments.

Tweet

Missing puzzle pieces

It has been so long since I have been here to post. I have sat at my desk and stared that the blank computer screen many, many, many times but nothing came. Others have ask me to post about various subject, mainly the She Speaks conference and I promised I would once I had take time to process all that I learned that weekend. However, as I began to step back in time in my mind to July 29-Aug 1st I realize that there were piece to my puzzle still missing.... questions still unanswered... dreams still unconfirmed. I have just felt undone since those days in North Carolina. I left my house on Thursday the 28th fill with self assurance that I was going to meet God to recieve my "marching orders". That I was ready to run into the fire as others would be running out. When I stepped into the Embassy Suites in Concord NC, I realized that I was going to be rudely awakened.


My eye opening first came in the Friday night General session when Lysa Terkeurst told the tale of two cities. The cities that fought for year and final City A decided to take up all their garbage and dump it over the wall to City B. In turn City B want to bring peace between the two so they gathered up all their treasures and tossed it over the wall to City A. My heart was broken at that point. I became so aware that daily I had been dumping my garbage on God and He just continued to hand treasures back to me. I have even come to expect His treasures and yet I have never really offered Him anything but my leftovers, the things I didn't need or want anymore.

Tweet

Aren't you Glad ???

These last few days/weeks I have felt a little under the weather. I have not been sick physically but just felt myself sinking into that depression pit of my past. I have fought it with all my human powers but it continues to swept over me like the waves in the oceans. So today I made it a point to find some quiet time to pray to and hear from God. I didn't know what verses to read or what words to pray so I sat in my comfy chair and cried. As the tears began to fall the weight on my heart began to lift and I opened my bible to Romans 5:8 " but God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (NIV) In this old familiar verse God reminded me that He loves me unconditionally.



Aren't you that God loves us unconditionally even when.....

• We neglect spending time alone with Him


• We are overwhelmed by all the things others have added to our "to do" list.


• We are frustrated and speak harshly to those around us.


• Our house is a mess and we have no desire to clean it.


• We don't give our spouses the attention they need, want and deserve.


• We feel the weight of the world pressing in on us


• We take our eyes off of Him and focus on our own wants and desire.

He love you and me no matter what life is coming at us.

Tweet