Bent, Broken, Mended {Five-Minute Friday}

Today I am joining my friends and Lisa-Jo again for Five Minute Friday. If you’re new here (welcome!) the rules are simple: Write, don’t edit, link your post to her page, and then share the encouragement like wildfire. You can do that, I know you can. 
The prompt this week is:  Broken

"I didn't do it. I didn't touch her. I wasn't even outside with her."  My son was screaming as he came running down the hall.  His little sister was following close behind crying the big tears I am hurt kind of cry.  As I got closer to her I realized the her was curved like a bow and was already swelling. I was able to calm her down enough to find out that she had walked outside to get her shoes from the trampoline but fell and landed on her arm.  That evening

ended with a trip to the ER, a nice heavy plaster cast and instructions to follow up with our regular orthopedic doctor the next day (yes we are the type of family with a regular ortho doc -- he is on speed dial).  Dr Russell snapped the X-ray up on the screen and pointed out two different problems. First the inner bone (Radius) was broken and it wasn't a clean break. He promised me it could be mended but would take 8-10 week in a cast.  Now on to the second problem was the outer bone (Ulna).  This bone was not broken but it was bend.  He advised us that they would watch her growth until the age of about 13 (she was 7 at the time).  If the bone did not straighten on its own then he would have to surgically break the bone and cast it to repair.  

I have never broken a bone in my body but I have been broken.  I have been knocked-down, beaten up and broken-hearted.  In my younger years I allowed the father of lies to break me by the whispers he spoke in my ear, the thoughts he put in my head and the distorted image he caused me to see in the mirror. Then God, in His grace and mercy, reach out and placed people in my life that point me to Him.  Those broken places were mended. However, there

were still a bents.  I was still bent but worry. By fear. By the unknown. After years of being just

bent last year I was 'surgically' broken by the Great Physician.  Things that I thought I had under control because out of control.  The fear, worry and unknown became to much and I just had to hand myself over to Him.  He carefully placed a cast on this break by placing friends, prayer, and most love in my life until I was mended.  I am sure there are or will be new bends to come but I know He can heal all.


PS.  My daughter's arm did straighten out on it's own and there was no need for surgery.  At least not on that arm but that is a different story for later.

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Times Change {God-Sized Dream}

Holley's 'do what you can step' for our God-sized dream this week is to write a post sharing "a typical day in your life like right now? How can you see God’s hand in the middle of the “small” and ordinary too?" 

A typical day ?

Ummm

If you had asked me 8 or more years ago I could have given you an almost minute by minute schedule of all my days.  As a mother of school age kids my days started early prepping the day by packing lunches and double checking backpacks.  The evening were spent either at the football field, softball field, wrestling gym, dance studio or volleyball court.  Then after the sun had long since set my time was split between making sure one child was taking a bath, while another was doing homework and trying to get something thrown together for dinner.  This is just the week days and the weekends didn't allow for much slow down.  From sporting events to house cleaning to trying to navigate a few friendships filled my Saturday. Sunday was church and family time.  Then you mix in spend the night parties, birthdays and holiday there were many times I just felt like running away.

But I was the momma so I didn't think that would work.

Now that was before August 2011.  Major changes happened in a short time.  My husband and I became empty-nesters.  Our son moved out one weekend, our daughter the next and even our neighbors moved the next.  Talk about a change.  We went from the hustle and bustle of a four person family back to just a couple.  Mike and I have never really been alone - together.  We lived with my in-laws when we were newlyweds as we built our house.  Our son was born 6 months before we moved into the house.  So see we have always been a family not just a couple.

So my typical day has slowly been developing over the last 15 months or so.  Instead of sitting in the standing cheering their games I sit by the phone awaiting their phone calls.  I no longer look across the table to see their face but now look at their Instagram pages to see pictures.  I no longer sit on the edge of my bed with them to hear about their day but I slowly scroll through Facebook post to stay up to date.  

At first it was sad to see the younger days gone but God is teaching me so much as we all continue to process this change. I am learning that the verse, "train up a child" is so true.  God has shown me just how much louder my actions spoke/speak than my words.  He has also shown me how much peace comes when you know that your children walk with the God as they are grown.  

If you are a mom of young children I advise you to cherish the moments as they come but do not begrudge them growing up.  

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I Have to Remember {Five-Minute Friday}

Today I am joining my friends and Lisa-Jo again for Five Minute Friday. If you’re new here (welcome!) the rules are simple: Write, don’t edit, link your post to her page, and then share the encouragement like wildfire. You can do that, I know you can. 
The prompt this week is:  Remember

They told me to just forget it.

I have been told to just get over it.
Once I was told it didn't really matter in my life today.
Others have said it is time to move on and leave that part of me behind.

And I want to.  I wish I could forget all the times I hurt, I wish the memory of all the lies that I told myself would fade away. I have prayed for the slate in my mind to be wiped clean.

But I can't.  In fact I have learned that I have to remember.  That it is necessary for me to always remember,  I must remember the miry pit that He brought me from.  If I don't remember the sting of the hurtful words then I won't recognize the the relief He offered.  If I don't remember the battle in mind then I won't realize the sweetness of the victory.  If I don't remember the death I once desired I will never fully live the life I have been given.

It has become my calling, my burden , my passion to share my remembering with other so that they too can not only remember a pain or a hurt but also remember the peace and comfort of redemption He offers.

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Halfhearted or Wholehearted {Five Minute Friday}

Today I am joining my friends and Lisa-Jo again for Five Minute Friday. If you’re new here (welcome!) the rules are simple: Write, don’t edit, link your post to her page, and then share the encouragement like wildfire. You can do that, I know you can. The prompt this week is:  Rest

As I link up with my friends at Lisa's place I am amazed at some to the words these writers share and how quickly they write.  I always try to stay up so that I can get the prompt as soon as Lisa post it which is normally around midnight on Thursday night.  However, even when I see the word the words just do not seem to flow as easily or quickly as I would like them to.  I have to chew on it for a while. Digest it into my heart.  And today's word was no exception.  Rest could mean so many different things but our first thought is of time away, doing nothing, just relaxing.  We expect to come away from a time of rest refilled and rejuvenated.  That is not always the case,

Earlier this year I have to have surgery the required me to rest for a few weeks.  Doctor's orders were to 'just lay around and do nothing.'  I was sore from the procedure but I was also very worn down by the stresses of life so I took his directions to heart.  For two weeks I did nothing.  I didn't go to work, cook, wash clothes or dishes. When it was time for me to begin taking back on my normal daily activity I was surprised at the fact that I was still very very tired.  It was no longer a physical weakness. Nor was it even an emotional tiredness.  It was a type of tired I have not really know before.  I have been struggling with it for weeks now.  At times it is not as heavy on me as it is at others but it never goes away.  I just have not been able to put my finger on where it was coming from,  That is until yesterday as I was folding clothes.  (Yes God has a sense of humor. One of the things I dislike doing the most gave me my answer).  

RU? halfhearted ~ wholehearted

 This shirt was the next on in the load I was working on.  It was one my son had gotten at a youth conference years ago.  The phrase, "R U ? halfhearted ~ wholehearted" just jumped out at me.  

That is it.  
That is the struggle that is making me so tired. 
I am tired of just being halfhearted. 
I am tired of comparing what I know God expected to the looks of other that don't understand.
I am tired of only following God when it is convenient of my life. 

I AM TIRED !!!!!!! 

Today I want to learn to just simply rest. 

To rest in Him.  

What about you? R U Halfhearted ~ Wholehearted? 

What is it that is making you so tired ? 

"My presences will go with you, and I will give you rest"

Exodus 33:14

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Wednesday in the Word - The Finale

God and I have been wrestling about the Wednesday in the Word weekly posts.  I love being able to keep my sisters updated on our the insight we are finding in our bible study but I am not sure this  is the right place or the right format to do it.  As a part of my God-Sized Dream I want my blog to be a place to encourage others that are hurting, to uplift some with a laugh here and there and maybe teach a little along the way.  Wednesday in the Word post have been strictly teaching which is great but seem to come across better in the classroom setting.  So I have made the decision to suspend this series.  I will still post on Wednesday and many will stem from all that God is teaching me but it will be in a more anecdotal form.  Thank you all for understanding.

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I Want It All {God-Sized Dream}

Holley's “ 'do what you can step' for our God-sized dream is to write a post sharing the desire(s) of your heart.What do you really want more of in your life? Will you dare to say it out loud?"




I say “I want more peace”
Christ said “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 14:27 ESV

I say “ I want more security”
Christ said “I am with you, declares the Lord.” Haggai 1:13 ESV




I say “ I want a close friend.”

Christ said “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24



I say “ I want more love in my life”

Christ said “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”



There are so many things that I want in my life in general and in my God-Sized Dream directly but it really just boils down to that I want… no I need more of Him.

I know that I need more of Him and I have known that for a long time now. So why do I not do the things that would draw me closer to Him.

“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want,

but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I

agree with the law, that it is good.”

Romans 7:15-16

Lord, I pray that I never forget that you are all I need.  I ask that you always remind me that you are the one that fills all my needs.  You are my my peace, my hope my security and mostly my love.

Amen

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Not My Home {Five Minute Friday}

Today I am joining my friends and Lisa-Jo this morning for Five Minute Friday. If you’re new here (welcome!) the rules are simple: Write, don’t edit, link your post to her page, and then share the encouragement like wildfire. You can do that, I know you can. The prompt this week is:  Home


As newly-weds and soon to be parents, we were trying to save money every chance we could but we knew once the house was completed it would ours. So we spent hours after night and weekends doing all the things that we need to do to build a house. My husband and father-in-law would piece together the piles of boards into the walls of each room while my mom and I were price shopping on everything even down to the plumbing pipes.  Excitement grew as the construction shifted from the structuring of the house to decorating.  We laid tile in the kitchen. Put up ceiling fans. Then  the day came that we had worked towards for about 18 months.....move in day. I was and still am very proud of our house.  Our house.  Knowing the work that we input make the thought of our house even more special.  Just a few years later when I made the last mortgage payment, realizing now it really was our house, the special feeling just increased. I love being able to call it our house.....my house.

However, I few years ago I realize that although this is my house it is not our home.

These walls hold so many memories, 23 years worth. Mike chased Anthony around and around for hours as a toddler.  We played a game of peek-a-boo ball (I'll have to explain at another time) with Samantha.  Both kids celebrated birthdays. proms, first dates and broken hearts. Countless dinners have been eaten in the kitchen.  Numerous loads of laundry washed in the laundry closet. I can't even begin to list the conversations, the disagreements, the hugs and the tears that have been poured out here.  It is these things that changed the structure we built to the place we live now. So I will call it my house but they (my family) are my home.

Christmas 2012

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