Thursday, August 26, 2010

Is this a last-first event ?

“But forget all that- It is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
For I am about to do something new. See I have already begun!
Do you not see?” ISA 43:18-19

Monday Aug 16th was my daughter’s last-first day of high school. Tuesday was her last-first high school volleyball game. Tonight she is attending her last-first high school football game. This is all the beginnings of the end of her life as a high school student.
These times are both exciting and nerve wrecking.
Times of tears for joy and tears of sorrow.
Times to look both forward and backwards.
She will spend this year remembering back on all the good times she has had with friends over the last 11 years. She is also really starting to look forward to the next step in her walk of life.
As I have watched her through this process it made me look at my walk with God differently. Do I look for the next phase that God is bringing me into? Am I excited, a little nervous but excited, to let go of where He has me now in order to move on. My daughter is embracing each day of this senior year for all the last-first things that she gets to do and be a part of. God does not want us us to stand still… to become lukewarm. So He is always doing something new in our lives. He is always preparing us to graduate on to something else but we have to see it. We have to be willing to let go of where we are and step toward where He is taking us. We can embrace all of our last-first moments as long as we also move towards our first-first moments.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Missing puzzle pieces

It has been so long since I have been here to post. I have sat at my desk and stared that the blank computer screen many, many, many times but nothing came. Others have ask me to post about various subject, mainly the She Speaks conference and I promised I would once I had take time to process all that I learned that weekend. However, as I began to step back in time in my mind to July 29-Aug 1st I realize that there were piece to my puzzle still missing.... questions still unanswered... dreams still unconfirmed. I have just felt undone since those days in North Carolina. I left my house on Thursday the 28th fill with self assurance that I was going to meet God to recieve my "marching orders". That I was ready to run into the fire as others would be running out. When I stepped into the Embassy Suites in Concord NC, I realized that I was going to be rudely awakened.

My eye opening first came in the Friday night General session when Lysa Terkeurst told the tale of two cities. The cities that fought for year and final City A decided to take up all their garbage and dump it over the wall to City B. In turn City B want to bring peace between the two so they gathered up all their treasures and tossed it over the wall to City A. My heart was broken at that point. I became so aware that daily I had been dumping my garbage on God and He just continued to hand treasures back to me. I have even come to expect His treasures and yet I have never really offered Him anything but my leftovers, the things I didn't need or want anymore.