Waiting

I feel that God has me in a season of waiting right now. Waiting on doors to open in my speaking. Waiting on various test results for myself and others. Waiting on answers to questions. Waiting - Waiting - Waiting. So when I heard Nancy Leigh DeMoss read this poem on her Revive Our Hearts show today I knew it was for me and that I needed to share it. I pray it speaks to each of you as much as it did to me.

The Waiting Poem

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said,"Wait."
"Wait? You say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
My future and all to which I relate,
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to Wait?"
I'm needing a 'yes,' a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.
You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting . . . for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me,
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
You'd never experience the fullness of love,
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask,
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.
So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see,
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT".

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CPM - Continuous Passive Motion

For those of you that read my blog or are my friend on Facebook you know that on September 7, 2010 I had to have a total knee replacement on my left knee. The surgery was needed due to inherited degenerative arthritis and not taking care of it as I should have. The surgery itself was not as painful as I had expected but the recovery has turned out to push my pain tolerance. A major piece of my physical therapy is a machine called a CPM which stands for Continuous Passive Motion. This machine slowly takes the injured leg and moves it to a bend position at a specified angle and then straightens it back to a completely flat position. I am to use the machine always increasing the bent angle every day in order to keep my knee from stiffening and becoming unusable. As I sat this evening with my leg harnessed in the machine, I began to think of how much that CPM machine is like my church family.


Let me explain: Since my surgery I have had to miss several church services and I have truly in my heart missed the fellowship, love and encouragement I receive when I join with my brothers and sisters in God's House. It seems that I need them to be my spiritual Continuous Passive Motion. There are times in my walk with Christ that I become stiff and unwilling to move easily. It is at those times that a dear sweet Christian friend will give a hug, speak a word or smile a certain smile that moves me to that next degree. Google defines Passive Motion as "Movement of a patients joint by a person who is examining or treating the patient." There are those weary tiring time when we just don't see, feel or hear God or His next step for us to take but if we are connected to a CPM type of group then there is some there to "examine and treat you by moving you". I thank God tonight for my dear church family especially my small ladies group that have not only been there physically during this surgery but even more for the fact that they have been my Spiritual CPM machine.

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Population of one

Over the last few weeks I have spend much of my time preparing for total knee replacement surgery tomorrow. During this prep time I have made sure there was food in the house for the family, paperwork was in order for my co-workers at the office and bills were paid so others wouldn't have to worry with it. But while doing all of this I have to admit that I spent a lot of time thinking...... thinking about myself and how the surgery would effect me alone. As I got into the car the other day with all the "what ifs" on my mind Matthew West's song "My Own Little World" came on the radio and I realized no matter what happens with this surgery there is a larger world out there with the bigger hurt and worry of where they will spend their eternity. THat is now where my mind and heart is focused. I am including Matthew's words for you in hopes that you too will see more that a population of one. (The youtube embedding disabled but I have included the link.)



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvSwcMp9vU4

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Is this a last-first event ?

“But forget all that- It is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
For I am about to do something new. See I have already begun!
Do you not see?” ISA 43:18-19

Monday Aug 16th was my daughter’s last-first day of high school. Tuesday was her last-first high school volleyball game. Tonight she is attending her last-first high school football game. This is all the beginnings of the end of her life as a high school student.
These times are both exciting and nerve wrecking.
Times of tears for joy and tears of sorrow.
Times to look both forward and backwards.
She will spend this year remembering back on all the good times she has had with friends over the last 11 years. She is also really starting to look forward to the next step in her walk of life.
As I have watched her through this process it made me look at my walk with God differently. Do I look for the next phase that God is bringing me into? Am I excited, a little nervous but excited, to let go of where He has me now in order to move on. My daughter is embracing each day of this senior year for all the last-first things that she gets to do and be a part of. God does not want us us to stand still… to become lukewarm. So He is always doing something new in our lives. He is always preparing us to graduate on to something else but we have to see it. We have to be willing to let go of where we are and step toward where He is taking us. We can embrace all of our last-first moments as long as we also move towards our first-first moments.

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Missing puzzle pieces

It has been so long since I have been here to post. I have sat at my desk and stared that the blank computer screen many, many, many times but nothing came. Others have ask me to post about various subject, mainly the She Speaks conference and I promised I would once I had take time to process all that I learned that weekend. However, as I began to step back in time in my mind to July 29-Aug 1st I realize that there were piece to my puzzle still missing.... questions still unanswered... dreams still unconfirmed. I have just felt undone since those days in North Carolina. I left my house on Thursday the 28th fill with self assurance that I was going to meet God to recieve my "marching orders". That I was ready to run into the fire as others would be running out. When I stepped into the Embassy Suites in Concord NC, I realized that I was going to be rudely awakened.


My eye opening first came in the Friday night General session when Lysa Terkeurst told the tale of two cities. The cities that fought for year and final City A decided to take up all their garbage and dump it over the wall to City B. In turn City B want to bring peace between the two so they gathered up all their treasures and tossed it over the wall to City A. My heart was broken at that point. I became so aware that daily I had been dumping my garbage on God and He just continued to hand treasures back to me. I have even come to expect His treasures and yet I have never really offered Him anything but my leftovers, the things I didn't need or want anymore.

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Aren't you Glad ???

These last few days/weeks I have felt a little under the weather. I have not been sick physically but just felt myself sinking into that depression pit of my past. I have fought it with all my human powers but it continues to swept over me like the waves in the oceans. So today I made it a point to find some quiet time to pray to and hear from God. I didn't know what verses to read or what words to pray so I sat in my comfy chair and cried. As the tears began to fall the weight on my heart began to lift and I opened my bible to Romans 5:8 " but God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (NIV) In this old familiar verse God reminded me that He loves me unconditionally.



Aren't you that God loves us unconditionally even when.....

• We neglect spending time alone with Him


• We are overwhelmed by all the things others have added to our "to do" list.


• We are frustrated and speak harshly to those around us.


• Our house is a mess and we have no desire to clean it.


• We don't give our spouses the attention they need, want and deserve.


• We feel the weight of the world pressing in on us


• We take our eyes off of Him and focus on our own wants and desire.

He love you and me no matter what life is coming at us.

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The Plan....His Plan

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,

plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you a hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

This verse has always meant so much to me. It was on a book mark my daughter gave me for Mother's Day when she was in 1st grade and was really the 1st verse I memorized. For each season of my life it has meant something different an special. As I went back and studied it again over the last few days God has opened my eyes to new things.

Back in March I was in Houston on a business trip. I had arrived at my hotel late in the evening after working that whole day and then taking a very uncomfortable flight. After checking in I went to my room and swiped my room key/card............

........ nothing happened.

I turned the key over thinking I had swiped it the wrong way.

Swipe.....

...Nothing again.

After standing there for a few minutes tired and hungry, I threw my head back in frustration. It was then that I saw the number on the door, 349. The room that the hotel had assigned to me was 348. I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or cry at myself.

As I studied Jeremiah 29:11 this last week God brought this story to my memory and I felt him say to me, "that is how you are treating the dream I have given you."

God has given me (all of us) a dream. A plan or a purpose, whatever it is you want to call it God has something for each of us to accomplish for His kingdom. For His glory. The talent/gift keys He has give us will open the doors to hearts in a might way when they are swiped properly in the door to the room assigned to us.

Are you using you key in the right door ? or are you trying to open a door that is not assigned to you ?

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Put it ALL on.

"Put on the whole armour of God, that you may be

able to stand against the wiles of the devil." Eph 6:11

This morning I got to the office, sat down and flipped my calender to begin the new day. On June 2, 2010 Ephesians 6:11-12 was waiting in me. I have read this passage about putting on the armour of God many time. I had even attended a weekend retreat in which the speaker broke down each piece yet today God taught me something new.

My son played football from the time he was 5 years old until he graduated high school. Between days of practices and weekends filled with games, I have see many hours of football but one particular game stood out in my mind as I read and re-read this verse. One Friday night our varsity team came running on to the field and lined up to do their "warm-up" exercises. They stretched, ran, and pass. They did all the things football players do before a game. Then when it was time come together and run through the cheerleader's sign, one of the referees walk one of our starting players up to the coach and pointed him toward the locker room. After a short discussion the player trotted off the field with the trainer. The game started and several plays passed before the player reappeared to the sideline. When the coach saw him he motioned for the young man to go into the game. The game went on but I (being the nosey woman I am) could not help but wander what the player had been sent to the locker room for. He had his helmet, the right jersey, a chin strap, mouthpiece and all the vital pads that I could think of . Had he said something wrong ? Did he make a obscene hand motion? What was it ?

After the game was over I found out from the boys mother that he had left a pad out of his pants. The pad is about 2 inches wide and 10 inches long and fits just in the back of the pants. Most players (and some coaches) consider it useless and unimportant. But on this night the ref, the man in charge of the game, told our coach that the player had to have on the WHOLE assigned uniform or they could not play. He was not willing to risk them getting hurt on "his watch".

Do you think that is why God tells us in His word to put on the WHOLE armour? Do you think it is because He knows best and is not willing to let us get hurt on His watch ? That small pad is a part of a football prayers uniform for a purpose. Frankly it is made to protect the player tailbone. It doesn't seem important until you get hit there without that protection. Parts of the armour of God may not seem especially important until Satan sees that you are unprotected and "hits" you there.

Are you putting on the WHOLE armour of God everyday ?

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Calling Confirmation

This past weekend (May 15-16,2010) a very good friend, Tricia Russell, and I attended the Extraordinary Women's Conference in Birmingham, Alabama.

IT WAS AWESOME !!!!!

God showed up in every way.

First let me tell you how we were able to attend this conference at the last minute. Since T.R. and I will be attending Proverb 31's She Speaks in July we had decided we would save a little money and not attend E-Women this year. The Monday night before E-Women came to town, Lysa TerKeurst, the president of P31, left a post that they would be giving away 2 tickets to a randomly drawn reply. Not really believing I would win I just left a short little comment. Later that evening I found out that I had in fact won. Of course I called Tricia the first thing the next morning. told her to get a sitter cause we were going.

We knew from the first note played on Friday night that we were there by divine appointment and we were going to see God move in mighty ways. I wish I had the time, space and words to tell you all that God did through each speaker, each song and each sponsor but I mainly want to share with you where God took us during lunch break on Saturday.

Because we had won the tickets we did not get the boxed lunch that was offered so we had to leave the complex to get something to eat on Saturday. Due to me have a little brain hiccup and not being able to tell my right from my left we ended up getting on the interstate going the opposite way than we had planned. So we decided to just make the best of it and was heading to McDonald's. As we came around the block to turn to Micky D's we were stopped but a construction roadblock. Once again we had to go to our back-up plan and we went on around the next block to Burger King. As we walking in we sort of questioned if we should stay because it wasn't the cleanest, the line was long, and the staff was no moving to quickly. However, since we were limited on time we decided we would just stay and make the best of it. After a couple of minutes of standing there and couple and their friend came in behind us. As we all stood there waiting and waiting the gentleman just started joking and carrying on with us. He asked us what we were doing in town and we began to tell him about the conference. He told us that he and his wife were both in the ministry. As we continued to tell him about the speakers we found out that his wife was the managing editor of a Christian publishing company. That just blew us away. See T.R. has been working over the last few years to write a book but none of us really knew anything about the publishing business. We decided that even though we only had a short time we were going to stay and share lunch with our new found friends. This couple was such an encouragement to us, not because she was a publisher but because they loved the Lord so much and that came through in the way they shared with us. This couple just sat with us and listened to our hopes, dreams and concerns.

At a time when both of us had begun to throw out all those questions that seem to come in a time of waiting:

Did I really hear from God?

Am I really the one He wants?

Can I do this?

Am I qualified?

An on and on and on..

God sent to us the sweetest couple to confirm what He has already done in our lives and what He will do in the future. In His timing.

(This is just the period and the end of the story)

Because we had sat and talked with them for so long we were late getting back to the conference. We were afraid that we had missed the concert by Mark Schultz but it turned out that there had been some technical prblems and was just playing the first song we we slipped into our seats.

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Thoughts......

I had not really planned anything to post tonight but after completing the two bible studies that I am in and then surfing several of my favorite blogs I noticed a recuring theme... our thoughts that we think/say towards ourselves. Why is it that we can believe every promise that God speaks in His word for others but not take it to heart for ourselves ?

• I can comfort a hurting friend by reminding her that she is a daughter of the most High King but not act like I am also His daughter.
• I can tell others that they are made perfect in His image but each morning I look in the mirror only to see each new wrinkle or gray hair.
• I can go on and on to my children about how God has a plan for their lives even quoting Jer 29:11 over and over to them but if they hear me say that I can't teach a class or take on a job at the church that needs to be done, what have I taught them.

I have recently become more aware that the words I speak to myself not only beat me up and effect me but they also reach out to others like the ripples in a pond. The one small pebble of negative self-talk I throw out can continue on.

What are some of the words you speak to yourself ? Are they truth? Do they reflect the new creature you are in Christ? If not, why?

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Happy Mother's Day

Our pastor played the audio to this poem in our morning service. I wanted to post it earlier but I have just now been able to find time to sit at the desk and upload it. I pray that each child has some one in their life that they are carrying this I owe u around for. If not a biological mother then maybe a step-mom, an adopted mom, a grandmother, a childrens sunday school teacher, a church friend or even your dad. Always remember and be thankful for those people that God placed in your life to care for you.



I.O.U.

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BUDGETING IS NOT AN UGLY WORD

Have you ever gone up to the ATM, type in your PIN only to have your card shot back to you with a message on the screen showing that you have no money in you account ? Do you look around to see if anyone else saw it? Do you try it again thinking surely they accessed the wrong account? However, you get the same glaring insufficient fund announcement. You walk away with think, “How did this happen?” Then you go home review you check register, yell at you husband accusing him for not giving you the receipts or you just realize that you just did not budget for the small expense you had to pay.
How many other things in our life is the same way? How many other things get out of control if we have not preplanned all the small details? We have to be able to budget all areas of our lives (with God’s direction) to stay balanced. This week in our First Place 4 Health meeting we discussed the concept of budget the various areas (mental, emotional, spiritual and physical). So just like with our money we must plan our food, our exercise, our time and even our emotions beforehand in order to stay in God’s plan for a balanced life. This balanced life will enable us to better service Him in our individual calling.
I am sure you all understand the idea of budgeting money but how do you budget food. One member discussed how dinner is her only family meal so she wants to enjoy it as much as possible. Therefore she may not eat as many carbs and/or proteins that are allowed for breakfast or lunch in order to eat more at that family time. This is not to say that she skips meals to have one large binge or that she does it every day. For example: If you know you are going out to eat Saturday night then you may eat a medium size brunch (instead of breakfast or lunch) then be able to eat more at that dinner.
This study of budgeting gets very interesting once we more it out all aspects of our lives. This week as I filled out my bible study each night I discover a part of my live that desperately needed to be budgeted - - MY TIME. Due to family illnesses, increased responsibilities at my job, additional commitments at church, personal hobbies and dreams I have allowed myself to over spend on these things and I did not have time left to spend with God. So even though I was completing my First Place bible study every night, reading and studying to teach bible classes and I was even praying but I was not giving God my attention. I had not budgeted my time to make that needed appointment of quiet time for me to hear from Him just for me. As a result, I have begun to budget each day’s time the night before by marking the time in my calendar. I have only done it for a couple of days and it is not easy to stick to but I can already see great perks from it. I have learned that when you turn back to God and His divine plan for balance then he will bless you in all areas.

What area (emotional, mental, spiritual, or physical) have you been overspending?


(PS – I feel I need to just give a short explanation on how you can over spend spiritually. If you over commit to doing things in God’s name without His calling or His power. Let me give you an example—If you are teaching Sunday School, keeping nursery, teaching on Sunday night and are on 3 or 4 different committees plus involved in everything else at the church just because you think you should be not because you feel God is calling you to do them. And as a result you have not time to spend at His feet in worship, praise and learning for yourself you may be spiritually over committed. I do not think we can over commit to God Himself and what He has called us to.)

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Will you be my # 3 ?

When I read this post on the Proverb 31 ministries website, I knew God was nudging me to post and ask if you all would join in to become another strand in my braid.
I have recently joined a First Place 4 Health at our church to try once again to lose the same 25-50 pounds that I have lost 100 times before. After just two meetings and listening to the others that have gone through this program, I have realized that this program addresses on more than just the physical. That is the meaning of the #4 in the program name. God made us all mental, physical, emotional and spiritual beings. So as we meet each week we are discussing and addressing each of these areas in order to heal the whole person. Now having said all that this is where I need each of you to join in: my family is the first strand in my fight, my 1st place group is the 2nd strand and I would love for my blog friends to be my 3rd strand. I am simply asking that you pray for my total health as I progress through this program. I have realized that my weight is out of balance because my focus is out of balance. I do not plan to turn this blog into a weight loss site even though I will give updates now and again. What I do want to share is what God teaches me along this journey. Following is a short summary of what I have learned in this week’s bible study. (Remember I never claimed to be a great writer)

Deuteronomy 30:19 – This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.

God has given use all we need for us to walk through the life/calling that His has for us but it is up to us to choose to live that life. There are small choices that we make each day, hour and even every minute that will lead us to death or to life physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually or a combination of all. God has given me the free will to chose. It is up to me to decide to choose life. However, if I make pick incorrectly and began to head to towards death I will have to deal with the imbalance that it causes. And just like a car that has it’s tires out of balance we have to go to the mechanic for service and correct, we have to go back to our focus on God and the right tools he has given to us to correct that imbalance.

As I am daily re-focusing on God to bring all areas of my life back into balance I ask that you join me as my third strand. That we all become braided together as sisters to strengthen one another in all areas to uplift and encourage the whole beings that we are.

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So much yet so little

There are has been so much going on around here the last few weeks yet I have done little to no writing. I would like to blame it on lack of time but the truth is I just have not been able wrap my mind around it all and find the right words. So I thought tonight I would just share a few things and try to give more details later.

In the last 7 days I visited 3 different hospitals with 7 different patients.

• 1st Hospital
• Friday 3/19 - He dad had surgery to repair lymph nodes that have not healed from having a cancerous tumor removed back in October. What was suppose to be a 15 to 30 min surgery ended up lasting 2 1/2 hours and he had to stay over night.
• Friday 3/19 - On my way home, I stopped by to sit with a friend at the hospital. The friends brother -in-law had been in a severe car wreck and he had been in trauma ICU for 21 days. I will not share any more since I do not have the families permission. Please remember this family in your prayers.
• Saturday 3/20 - Samantha and I stopped to visit with our friend again. Samantha was wanting to visit with her daughter.
• 2nd Hospital
• Saturday 3/20 - My son, Anthony, flew back in from his mission trip in Nicaragua. As we sat on the couch looking at pictures on his camera I noticed that his feet look a little different. As we investigated a little further we noticed that both feet were swollen all the way up to his knees. Due to the fact that he had been in a different country, had cuts on his legs and had been in the water we decided it was best to take him to the ER to be tested. Praise God, after 4.5 hours we finally saw a doctor. They checked for blood clots, infection and parasites but nothing was found. The doctors all agreed that it had to be from the flight altitude.
• Saturday 3/20 - As we entered the ER with my son I notice a lady on the phone in the waiting room that looked so familiar, it was my sister-in-law. She was waiting on my nephew to be moved to a room. He had been 4-wheeler riding earlier that day and had wrecked. They had run MRIs, X-rays and CT scan to find that he had dislocated his shoulder (the same one that has already had 3 surgeries on it ), he had 4 broken ribs, ruptured his lung and was cut up all over his back.
• 3rd Hospital
• Tuesday 3/23 - Mom had to have an arteriogram on her carotid artery. Since Dad was still recovering from his operation is was difficult for him to stay with her all day so I got him to stay home and I went with her The doctor found that it was 80% blocked and she would need surgery to "clean it out."
• Wednesday 3/24 - One of Mike's dear friend had a heart attack so we went to visit him. Ever since Mike had his heart attack 2 1/2 years ago he makes sure he takes the time to go visit whenever he can.
• Friday 3/26 - Mom had her surgery. Dad was feeling better so he was able to go to the hospital this time. I had to leave once she was settled in a room to help Samantha get dressed for her prom.

As crazy as this all sounds I have been so blessed during it all.

• I have seen the faith and trust in God grow in the hearts of my friends as the wait for their loved on to recover on blink of the eye or one movement of the hand at a time.
• I was able to to feel as if I could do just a little to thank my mom and dad for all they gave me growing up by being there when they needed some help.
• I have seen God remind my nephew that a former Marine is not bullet proof when a 4-wheeler is involved
• I have also been reminded in my heart that when all is said and done nothing in this world matters except Christ and showing His love for one another.

Take time today to show those in your life how much they mean to you.

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MAKEOVER OF THE HEART

Last year we decided to redecorate our kitchen. Due to the fact that we had a very small budget we were going to do all the work ourselves. We are not new do-it yourselvers so we were fairly confident in being able to complete the work in the 8 short weeks we had until I was to host my ladies bible study group. We worked many late nights and long weekends to get the walls painted, refinish the cabinets, and install a new sink and new countertop. With one last weekend push we completed one week early. Luckily that gave me a couple of days to clean up and prepare for the bible study. Many of these ladies would be visiting my home for the first time so of course I wanted to make the best possible impression. I first cleared away all of our “construction” tools and then I move on to the rest of the house. As I worked to clean I began to notice that the other rooms of the house just were not up to the new standard now set by the re-made kitchen. As looked at the newness and brightness of the kitchen I become conscious of the wear, tear and darkness of my family room, bedrooms, and bathrooms. So I worked even harder to make every inch of the house as clean as possible. The night came and all the ladies went on and on about how great the kitchen looked but all I could think about was how bad the rest of the house looked. By the end of the night I was miserable because I allowed the enemy to twist and turn my thoughts into a beating stick. Later that night God used the event to teach me a lesson. He taught me both gratitude and grace. Let me explain: For the first few weeks/months after I was saved God slowly opened my eyes to sins in my life. As these sins were reveled to me and I worked to repent of them He would mend that piece of my heart. Then as time pasted I would begin to think, “Ok I have arrived.” I would feel as if I had come as far as God would bring my and I would praise Him for the changes in my life. But then He would slow remove more scales from my eyes to reveal more darkness that still remained in the corners of my heart. I had to acknowledge that I was not yet wholly redeemed and I would not be until I was with Him in heaven. I could have let that acknowledgment throw me into a deep despair or I could take another step into the light closer to Him. So just like my kitchen ended up being just the start of a total home makeover, salvation was just the first step to a total me makeover.

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Calmed Nerves

Last week was full ( that is the easiest way to say it). The days were packed with month end financial close on my "real paying job", learning a new task at said "real paying job", decorating the church sanctuary and fellowship hall for a community wide Women's conference, purchasing food for the conference luncheon, preparing my testimony to be given at the conference and still doing all my wife and motherly duties. Because of all these things by Saturday I was just full of nervousness. I was to the point of making myself sick so I went to a restroom out of the major traffic to try to gather myself some. I wanted to be alone but I wasn't. Nope. No matter where I went I wasn't alone because He was with me and when I was finally still and quiet He spoke to me. He reminded me that this conference was not mine. Successful or not the conference out come had NOTHING to do with the decorations, the food, the music, the dramas or the words spoken but had everything to do with the hearts that He would touch. Hearts the He had already been dealing with. Once He spoke those words to my heart I walked out of the restroom and the whole atmosphere of the building was different. My nerves were calm and I was ready to be fully used for His glory.

Since I was the last of three speakers I was able to just sit back, relax and be amazed watching Him work, watching His Spirit move from one lady to another. I know that He cared enough to meet me in a small restroom just to calm my fear and nerve.

PS. Just wanted to add a little THANK YOU to all that prayed for me and for this event. This was the first speaking event that I have had and your prayers were truly felt. There were about 65 ladies that heard how God will walk you through any storm from hopelessness to hope filled. ( There were also about 10 men that were there to help run sound, fix lunches and park cars that listened too)

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Personal Branding

In my "real paying" job I had to attend a sort of "state of the company" presentation last week. During the presentation, the Vice-President of Marketing addressed the crowd explaining the future marketing plan. She talked a lot about the company's brand and how it would be used in commercials, billboards and all types of marketing promotions. So what exactly is a corporate brand? According to this VP, a corporate brand is a statement that answers the question: What positive change the company is trying to create in the world. Then that Brand statement becomes the guide. It is the "North Star."

What is your personal Brand statement?

Can others recognize your personal brand as well as they do these corporate brands?

UPS …. What can brown do for you?
Wal-Mart …. Save money. Live Better

Mary Kay … Enriching Women's Lives

I am striving everyday to make my brand … Jesus is my all … know to all those around me.

Again, What is your brand?

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Blessed Assurance

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for
good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

This has always been one of my favorite verses because it reminds me that God did not just create me and leave me here swaying in the wind alone. He is with me walking me through His plan. I was home alone this morning doing some cleaning when a tune came to my mind. I continued to hum the tune but it took me a few minutes to realize even what song it was. It was the old hymn "Blessed Assurance". I quickly went to my computer to look up the verses since all that was coming to my mind was the tune. Wow, how sweet and powerful these words were to me today.

Blessed Assurance, Jesus is mine

Oh what a foretaste of glory divine

Heir of Salvation, purchase of God

Born of His Spirit, washed in his blood

This is my story

This is my song

Praising my Savior all the day long

Perfect Submission, Perfect Delight

Vision of rapture now burst on my sight

Angels descending bring from above

Echos of Mercy whispers of love

This is my story
This is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long

Perfect Submission all is at rest

I in my Savior am happy and blessed

Watching and waiting, looking above

Filled with His goodness, lost in His love

With this song God reminded me that His is the perfect one to submit to. He is a perfect God who has a plan for an imperfect person like me to be able to openly come into His presence (Heb 10:22) with a sincere heart and fully trust that He will accept me there. Becasue of Jesus' own submission even to death I , a sinner, can boldly enter into the Holy Place. Not only can I enter - I am expected to enter. That is a sweet invitation that I for one do not take advantage of often enough.

Lord - Please help me to always remember that you have given me an open invitation to come to You and to bring all my "STUFF" . Thank you for allowing my to bring that stuff and leave it all at your feet and walk away with Your peace.

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Snow on the Beach

I am a little late checking in with this Valentine's weekend review but better late than never.
My sweet hubby and I left around lunch on February 12 and headed to the Gulf coast of Alabama. I had been awake off and on the whole night before wondering if we were going to be able to make this long awaited trip due to the predicted snow fall. It had been 22 years (since our honeymoon) that we were able to get away, just the two of us alone, without the children. We desperately need some quiet and reconnection time, so I was not going to let a little snow and freezing temperatures stand in our way. As we left the house in Northern Alabama we had about 2" and it was still falling but the further South we drove the deeper the snow got. After driving for about 3 hours the snow was as deep as 5-6" but thank God the roads were not icy. We finally got to the coastal area and although it was very, very cold there was no snow. Even if the weather was not what you would consider perfect beach conditions it was exactly what we needed as a couple… as husband and wife not as mom and dad. During the next two days we were able to recognize that we do still have things to talk about beside kids, school events and work. We realized that we will be able live together in the empty nest that is quickly coming. We had laughter filled dinners, late brunches, walks through the outlet malls with no concern about purchasing anything, visit to an historical site and we were even able to brave the cold to stroll on the beach. This weekend was not the grand vacation many dream about. It was not an expensive trip. It is not one that I will pull out the photos to show others but it is on that I will always remember. It is the vacation my marriage needed. The one my life needed. The one my heart needed. It is the vacation that our God provided.

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We have time in the morning to sit in front of my mirror to put on make-up to cover all the “flaws” we see
but we do not have time to look in the Word to be reminded that we am fearfully and wonderfully made.



We have time to communicate via phone, text, facebook, email and a number of other ways
but we do not have time to talk to my Heavenly Father.



We have time to stand in the kitchen to cook meals and desserts to feed my physical hunger
but we do not have the time to sit still to be feed spiritually.



We have time to wait in line to be served by a tired and weary salesperson
but we don’t have time to sit with the Bible before us to learn how to serve others.



We have time to spend watching my favorite television show
but we do not have time to just be still and know Him.
We have time to work those extra hours in order to purchase earthly treasures
but we do not have time to work to lay up treasures in Heaven.



We have time to do all the hobbies that we want to do
but we do not have the time to thank the God that gives you those abilities.






I realized these things above after reading a wonderful letter that Elaine over at Peace for the Journey had written on her blog to a friend that she was going to be gifting a new bible to. That letter showed me that He could work so much more in my life if I knew Him better and to know Him better I have to spend time with Him. The way to spend time with Him is to read the Word that He has given to us.

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Are you a Sword Fighter?

When my kids were younger they both love to sword fight. Anthony did it to act like Michelangelo, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle but Samantha just wanted a change to beat up on her big brother. They would grab up just about anything and swing it around like a sword, like a stick, cardboard wrapping paper rolls and the dollar store plastic swords. They would be running around the house wildly swinging whatever the sword of the day was and as long as it did not get to out of hand I just let it continue. However, eventually someone’s cardboard sword would bend and tear, the stick would break or the plastic would come apart. This disaster would leave one of my little ninjas unarmed and defenseless. All the weapon they were using were just cheap replicas of a real sword. A real sword that is forged of steal. A real sword that is hand crafted by a master blacksmith. A real sword formed just for the purpose of fighting and defending.

As I remember back to those day of the sword fights I think of how many time we as Christian find ourselves unarmed and defenseless against Satan. All because we try to use cheap replicas instead of using the real sword of the word. We try to fight Satan by simply pretending he is not there. We fight by repeating wonderful quotes from great teachers or preachers. We depend on others to fight for us because we know they have the real sword. We also try to fight with our sword, the sword of the word still on our hip in the sheaf .

How are you fighting the fight set before you ?
Are you welding around the true sword of the word of God ?
Have you pulled it out of sheaf?
Or are you just using a cheap replica ?

I have decided to spend more time this year to memorize at least 12 verses of scripture this year so that I will always have His sword with me ready to fight. If you would like to join me let me know so that I can be praying for you. I have decide not to post verses for us to learn together because I believe God puts different verses on our hearts in order to prepare us for the battles that He knows we will be facing in the future.

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Your Comfort or His Calling

There is a small store front church on Main Street in our small town. This church always has some of the most thought provoking quotes on their sign. The quote I noticed this morning has been stuck in my mind, “God is more concerned with you calling than He is with your comfort.” I believe the reason this has really gotten to me is because I have been tossing and turning God’s calling on my life over in my mind the last couple of weeks. I have tried to blame these unsettling feelings on Satan but after reading that sign I think God may be trying to make me focus more on my calling than my comfort. As I have mentioned before about 2 years ago God called me to begin speaking to women. He has called me to share my testimony and encourage others that they are worthy in Him. I was fine with that calling as long as it was just a calling that I was working towards. However, my calling is becoming real now. I have my first speaking event scheduled for March and now I am not so comfortable. I have had all sort of doubts, fears and worries flow in and out of my head. There are things that I had not originally written in my testimony that He is telling me to share. Things that I am not comfortable with yet. The church sign stands as reminder that I am to follow His calling and He will handle the rest. Please pray for me to continue chose to follow His calling rather than settle in my comfort.
Which do you chose – calling or comfort? What things make you uncomfortable in following in His calling on your life? How can I pray for you this week

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Listen and you will hear

I grew up in church even though I did not become a true follower of Christ until I was 32 years old. I had always heard people in church talk about how God had told them such and such. They would go on and on about God speaking to them. Once I became a Christian and began reading the Bible I read all the various stories of God give instructions to the men and women. Once I realized that God does speak to His children then I desired to hear from Him but I did not know how. It seemed all my time with Him was one-sided, me speaking to Him. I would pray praises, thanksgiving and even my request but I did not ever hear Him speak. There would be time that I would determine in my heart to hear God speak so I would take the time to sit still and be quiet waiting on a word, just one word. However, it would just be silence and I would get discouraged and walk away. Then one day my bible study brought me to the small Old Testament book of Habakkuk.

Habakkuk was a man that was desperate to hear from God. He not only wanted to hear from God but he expected that God would speak to him. At first it did not appear that Habakkuk would ever hear God speak but he never gave up. Habakkuk did get discouraged but he never gave up on waiting for God’s word to come to him. Little did Habakkuk know that while he was waiting and wanting to hear from God, God was already working. HAB 1:5 - Look among the Nations! Observe! Be astonished! Wonder! Because I am doing something in your days- You would not believe if you were told.

Even we do not hear from God directly He is still working in our lives. Like I said I wanted to hear from God but I was not sure how. Once I quit trying myself to hear from God but instead I just spent time with Him in prayer and in studying His word is when I did finally hear Him speak nuggets of wisdom to my heart. Now I look for Him to speak to me daily in various ways. Sometimes it was just nudges in my mind of things I should do; sometimes it is in things I remember, in dreams, in nature and even in the words of others around me.

Do you expect Christ to speak to you? Do you know that no matter how long you have to wait to hear that He is already at work?

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Hummingbird Head

This past year my dad was diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma in his groin. (I praise God that in October his scan shown that there were no active cancer cells.) While he was going though his chemo and radiation, treatments his was very weak and did not get out of the house much except to sit on the porch. He had one small hummingbird feeder out there and loved to watch the small birds. After a few weeks, he decided that one feeder was not enough for birds he had so he added a few more all around the yard. One evening I stopped by to visiting with him and I began watching those colorful little birds. They would rocket back and forth from one feeder to another. The funniest thing was to watch one try to dive bomb another to move it out of the way. In the middle of all the hyper-activity, I realize that in the last few weeks my head had felt like those birds were inside there. There were so many different ideas, project and obligations that my head was spinning. All of them were meaningful and most of them are things I love. They were things I wanted to do. Were they the right things for me to be doing? Were they things God had called me to do? Things that would bring Him glory?

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Calling of a father’s heart

I wrote yesterday about Mike’s heart attack two years ago. I spent those first few days in a semi-shock think what would I have done if he had not made it. (He was only 42 at the time). I have to admit that my thoughts were mainly selfish. I worried about how I would provide for my two children, how would I manage the household, and so many other things. I just did not know how I would carry on. Three days after Mike’s heart attack the nurse had taken him for more testing when the News reported the 2 ½ year old son of a famous local radio personality had drowned the evening before. William Bronner Burgess, son of Rick and Sherri Burgess (The Rick and Bubba Show) had found his way out to the family pool and drowned. I listen to the Rick and Bubba show every morning and they feel at least like friend if not family. As I heard the story continue to unfold, even today, I realize that my concern in facing Mike’s potential death should not have been for myself or even for Mike because our security and salvation were already in Christ. My concern needed to focus on those that are having heart attacks each day whose salvation is not secure. I should hold things and people here on earth with an open hand. I should be willing to let go of it all if it draws one person to a saving faith.
I have not done the true message of Bronner’s death in any justice in my words. Please listen to the following youtube links to hear “A Father’s Heart”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PUHUZWyFeg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7aNDixS2J0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUT8Bk6Ou90
Sherri Burgess has started writing a new blog that is worth visiting:
http://sherriburgess.blogspot.com/
Always remember that if Jesus came only to save us He would have taken us to heaven immediately but He has left us here to be about His business of preaching the Gospel and revealing Him to the world

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Life's By-Passes

Two years ago this week I was sitting in a hospital room while my husband was recovering from a heart attack. During our week there Mike had been rushed into the ER and then up to surgery, had a stint inserted in one of his arteries, spent two nights in ICU, convinced our daughter (daddy’s little girl) that it was okay to go on the already planned youth trip and was finally moved to a regular room. It was in my first conversation with the doctor after the stint was put in that Dr Parks explained something amazing to me. He told me that sometime in the past Mike had a previous heart attack. The “old” attack had been on the backside of his heart and had created a natural by-pass. He drew a diagram that demonstrated how new capillaries had grown off of either side of the blocked artery past the area that contained plaque built up and then reconnected so that the blood continues to flow.
As I have sat reflecting and being so thankful that God still has a plan for Mike and decide to allow us more time together, I thought of how that natural by-pass in his heart is such an illustration of our walk with God. We can be following God’s plan just flowing freely and then “things” began to build up in front of us that disrupts that flow. Those things that block the fellowship between us and God can be family, friends, works, church ministries, hobbies and so many more. Just like Mike’s heart we can decide to let that blockage attack us and kill us or we can look for the by-passes God always provides.
Are you allowing a blockage to be built up in your relationship with Christ? Are you looking for God’s natural by-passes that will bring you back to Him?

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WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS

In the event that you have been living in a cave for the last five days or if you just do not listen to any type of sports cast, I have an announcement to share with you:
THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA FOOTBALL TEAM IS THE BCS CHAMPIONS.



You may think the picture above was taken at the game, but it was not. So maybe you think it might have been taken of the crowd at a pep rally before the game, but it was not. No this large group of fans had lined the fence standing in the freezing cold at the airport just hoping for a opportunity to see the newly crowned champs exit they chartered plane walk a few feet and board the bus. As the players walked past waving, the crowd cheered. They yelled. They all hoped that they might be able to get a picture of Mark Ingram, the Heisman trophy winner or Coach Saban. I, myself, am a big football fan but watching this scene played out over and over on the various newscasts made me question the value we place on material things.

▪ A championship sports team flys in … we stand for hours in below freezing temperatures.
A town square march against abortion … we say it is to cold to come out in support.
▪ The BCS coach’s trophy is on display … 6000 people stand in line just to have picture made.
We are asked to serve meal at the local mission … our old knee injury hurts to bad to stand.
▪ Sports Illustrated BCS special edition comes out … we almost rub the ink off the pages by flipping through the pages ever minute we can.
Our Bibles … sit on our tables or in our cars untouched day after day.


Where is my focus? Where is yours? Are you more excited by a sports team victory than you are about what God is doing in lives around you and in your own life?

· I have used the Alabama football championship only as an example.

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Tune-up Time

When I was younger I enjoyed being a part of our church’s youth choir. There was one special song that we all enjoyed learning. Even though I have been unable to remember the name, the exact words or tune to the song, I have not forgotten the meaning/story. The story has spoken volume to my heart over the years. It tells of an old neglected violin that is the last item to be sold at a small country auction. The auctioneer just wanted to sell it and close the door for the night, so he offered it up for one dollar. Then he asked “who’ll make two, its just one dollar more. Come on who’ll give me three.” Although he repeated the calling over and over no one gave a bit. Finally an older gentleman quietly stepped out of the crowd and picked up the bow and violin. He spent a few minutes blowing the dust off and turning the pegs until he ultimately pulled the bow across those string. The people all stood in silence as the sweet sounding notes filled the air. Once he had completed the song, the gentleman softly laid the violin back on the table and returned to his seat. The auctioneer broke the stillness by beginning the bid asking, “Who’ll give me one thousand, who’ll make it two- just one thousand more. Now who’ll make it three?” The crowd questioned, “What made the change in the price. We don’t understand.” The auctioneer simply replied “It’s been touched by the master’s hand.”

Have you been touched by the true Master’s Hand? Have you allowed God to tune you with His word everyday so that you can bring harmony and joy to those around you? As we start the New Year spend some time reflecting on the thing in your life that may be out of tune. The things that are not allowing you to bring beautiful music to life. Over 2010 allow Him to reach into your life to bring all those thing together for His glory.

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M.I.A – Missing in Action

I need to apologize for being gone for so long. I do not have any excuses but I will share with you my reasons:
1. After I finished my 2 prior post in which I shared my “junk”, I reviewed all that I had written and read the comments that I received in return and honestly I was just a bit overwhelmed. I was not expecting such tender loving responses for all of you. So I just had to take a little time to regain my thoughts.
2. Then the hussle and bussle of Christmas came. I spent time with family in a much more quiet and reflective way than we have in the past. It was so nice to move back closer to the true meaning of Christmas.
3. When I finally sat down to spend some time at the computer reconnecting, I discovered that my home computer has a severe virus. I delivered it to the repairman today and I am praying that it can be saved.
With all that said I plan to begin posting again later this week if I can borrow a computer or sneak some time on the office computer.

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